#LetYourGirlChildRead2019 | Not Your Regular Book Review | Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Friends! Here we are with our first "Not Your Regular Book Review" (meaning we are ranting and venting)  for #LetYourGirlChildRead2019, and this one stressed me! This book! Wow! Whose father? PLEASE THROW HIM AWAY!

I loved Americanah! It is definitely one of my favorite books, so you know your girl was very excited.  My friend/Sister/Cousin Simbi recommended this one. Also, I am #TeamAfricanWriters. Except for Ghana Must Go. I just don't get it! Can someone please explain what is happening in that book to me! Anyway, let's get into it.

Some kind of summary.
The book is about a privileged family in Nigeria who are Catholics. Not your every Sunday kind of Catholics. The Patriarch was invested in the church and their ways to a great extent. I am trying to summarize without spilling the details. I am really trying. In this home, there is a high level of oppression an abuse towards the mother and children. This was being done to steer them on the path of righteousness. He is basically trying to steer them off the wrong path. However, things changed when the two kids, Kambili and Jaja, got exposed to another style of life. They saw what freedom looked like. They were robots in their father's house, honestly. Abused robots. With time tables and stuff. I hated those things with a passion. So basically they went to visit the modest, liberal, fun, (insert the most feminist adjectives here) auntie, and this awakened the confidence in Jaja to protect his sister and mother from their father. You get the gist. This is not Sparknotes. Buy the book! #SupportAfricanWriters2019.

Now I am a commuter, so I travel by train and bus to work and stuff (for my rich friends who don't get it! I got you!) I use my commuting time to read because I am traveling for about 3 hours each day. This makes it easier for me to focus on the challenge because I was able to read the book in a week. But the reason why I share this is because I am sure the people on the train were concerned about me while I read this book. My face really brought to life the craziness that was going on in this book. Let's just act like this is a true story so I can distribute my insults equitably.

Don't get me wrong friends but if you are from an African household or even country, chopping lashes is nothing new to you. I mean from home to school, man was just chopping licks! My American friends will say abuse, my African people will say "spare the rod and spoil the child." However, this man took it to another level. This man was not just sparing the rod. He was not sparing foot, hot water, and others. HOW! What kind of father!

First of all! What kind of church? 
You know how one person can just ruin a whole belief system for people. This is an example of that. I don't know what kind of Catholic church that this man was raised in but for you to refer to your own birth father as a heathen! I say this all the time. Different doesn't mean wrong. The priest he grew up with planted hate in him towards his own father because he was a traditionalist. The kids were barely allowed to see their grandfather. You are doing the most sir!

Also, was his priest lowkey encouraging him to almost kill his children? Scratch that! Actually, kill his unborn children. There is no excuse! No excuse at all! For you to lay hands on a woman period! Let alone a pregnant woman. Are you mad? I know for a fact that my pastor would have been like "not in my church!" I'm sure at confession he confessed beating his wife and his children. So my question is what did the priest say to that.

You cannot tell me that the priest, whom they had confession sessions with, did not know the kind of torture this man was putting his family through. Why did nobody say something! Why did they let it go on longer? Or was it ok because he did it to lead his children to righteousness? What about his righteousness? I am just confused as to why the church would highkey encourage this behavior.

He regretted it after... Mmmkay 
This what I have to say about that...

Girl Bye!
Maybe the book could have delved into the demons he was battling more. Perhaps then we can give him a pass. Mmmm! Nope! This raises a critical topic. Are parents justified for some of the things they do because of what they went through growing up?

Sis, what else were you waiting for? 
The mother! Hmm! I know it's hard to leave an abusive marriage and relationship. I also know that in Africa, especially in those days, there was no help or even resources, and no one was willing to listen to you. However, sis, how can you watch for this man to almost kill your children. I feel like the moment when he was not just lashing them but breaking fingers and others should have been the last draw. She could have really saved her children, but she watched for things to go too far. I am sure the man didn't just start doing this. How do you sit there and watch you and your children be abused for 15+ years? They say you'll never know until you are in their shoes.

Okay cool! We were all chopping lashes, but they were lashes that we deserved. When Monsieur Etse lashed me in form 1 for getting a 3/15 on that french quiz was reason enough... Again, American friends, abuse! I know, but to be kicked almost to death because I had a painting of my grandpa who had passed away is not justified. Or even to pour boiling water on my feet for any reason at all. She came and carried her and tend to the wound? So what if she had died? If you can't do it for yourself, Ma, please do it for your children... including the ones that never made it out of your stomach because of this man. Even typing this is stressing me out.

Many people who are in situations like this are looking for ways out. Sis had a way out but decided to go and bring her children back into this mess instead. Down the line, she acted, but her actions to me just made things more difficult for her children.

Auntie of life! 

Madam where have you been? You also could have acted faster. All the characters in this book could have moved sooner. So before linking up with your family for Christmas, you want to tell me that you didn't know that your brother was on some mess. Maybe I'm tripping, but why do we always have to wait for things to escalate before we act.

I want my father to be proud of me.
An African child may not even know his/her purpose in life, but whatever it is, it has to make their parents proud. Especially your father. It's always the dads. We go the extra mile for them. I can totally relate, and I am sure most people can too. Imagine coming home second place in your class. Man will be hiding report cards because you know that second place is a glorified last place and you will be asked if the person that was first has more heads than you. Our dear sister was going through the same thing. She wanted to say, think, and do things that her dad will like. Things are even worse when you have an older sibling who is almost perfect, and everything you do is measured with his/her achievement. This can be so unhealthy and can lead to the child losing themselves and let's not get into the mental health aspect of this. Can someone please write a mental health 101 book in a way that our African parents can understand cause they are hurting us and we don't even know it.

Pressured to be a man.

There is this "Man of the house" thing that gets on my last nerves. The pressure that little boys feel to step in in the absence of their father is beyond me. Imagine at such a young age, not being allowed to be a kid. I know for some, there is no other option. However, again, our dear mother really could have and should have protected the children. Jaja felt the need to protect his mom and sister from their own father. WOW! Even given up his life to protect his mom. I felt so bad that he had to do this. Again, friends, I take my books personal. I am always ready to fight a particular character in a book. So both parents and the people in the church can catch these hands.

Falling in love with someone you can't have.

Wow, friends! As we have gathered here today, I would like us all to bow down our heads and have a moment of silence for our dear sister, Kambili. I would also like the choir to sing the anthem MEN ARE TRASH for this service.

Seriously though! How do you start catching feelings for a priest? Like sis was expecting him to leave the church for her? Also, am I the only one who felt like our PriestBae was leading our dear sis on. Wait! The age difference. Unless I missed the part where we were in another year cause as far as I know she was still 15. Honestly, this was probably the thing back then. I still think the priest was doing the most, and she was still underage. What even broke my heart was his response to her when she said she loved him. Sir! So you knew this, and you were doing all that? LOL, YOU ARE WILDING!

Overall thoughts!

This was a great book. I probably was too emotional because I know people that have been through this in real life. For my literature friends, here is some literature thing for you. I feel like there were so many climaxes in the story. The writer did an excellent job of taking us to and from the present to help us understand. I like stories with the "how we got here" format. If that makes any sense. So it starts off with climax and goes back to what led up to that. It's like you get the picture, and then you go about picking the pieces of the puzzle. I am sure you get it, so let me stop.

Also, I love historical settings. Knowing that these things were happening in Nigeria back then makes the story real. I am a history nerd, so I was going back and forth with google and this book trying to fact check. Don't do that. Don't be like me.

The main thing I picked from this book is that everything is not as it seems and everyone is going through something. A great book. I will rate this a solid 4.9/5. It is not Americanah. I love me a good romance novel please and the ending wasn't really a happy one. Did he get out of jail? They said he was, but did he?

P.S: I am struggling with my 6th book! We will talk about it later! I am also considering doing 25 books instead. I don't know. Let's see. I have also written this particular blog post like 4 times and every time it gets deleted. So this is very diluted cause I forget a lot of my thoughts. Maybe I should write these things down. Lastly, I am still taking book suggestions!

Till our next rant session!

Love,
Candy

Books completed:

Purple Hibiscus
What a time to be alone
The Alchemist
Stay With Me
The wedding date

 Currently reading: Homegoing